"Gimme what I want, what I really, really want."  There is the Gospel for you.  Really.  All summed up in one neat little lyric that you can krump to.

My life used to be about keeping as many irons in the fire as possible.  Just a few years ago, I was a Reserve Army Chaplain (no longer), and a Presbyterian Minister covering a small church in the countryside, and a full time Ph.D. student.  What could happen next?  Anything!  My chaplain assistant used to joke about running my congressional campaign when we were done.  Sure, why not!  Politics.  Church leadership.  Academics.  Business.  Maybe law school next.  Anything could happen. 

I had shut down no options.  But living the Christian life as a young person (the thesis of this whole blog) means finding a calling.  Making some decisions.  Choosing some things to do for God and excluding others by virtue of the choice. 

People still ask me what I want to be when I grow up...

There are still a number of different options open.  And they ask me a legitimate question, and one that has occupied my mind for some months, "But, what do you WANT to do?"

Being a Christian is about wants.  We are meant to be driven by passions, longings, desires, wants.  There are plenty of religions and philosophies that glorify detached apathy in the world.  Christianity is not one of them.  Christ wants us moved by desires, but the desires must be ordered in the right direction.

Anselm of Canterbury prayed, "Lord, give me what you have made me want...Perfect what you have begun, and grant me what you have made me long for." 

What do you want?  What are you chasing after and striving for?  What promises to satisfy you and justify your life, justify your sacrifice and struggle?  Pursue it.  Pursue it with Christ at your side, and let him show you how your desires can be properly ordered, and how what you want just might serve him.

Lord, give me what I want; what I really, really want.  Because what I really want is You.