Some time ago a good friend wrote this in an email to our community group at church. Sadly, he didn’t get much of a response. But to me this is a beautiful example of what it looks like to wrestle with the implications of the Christian story for our lives. So I thought I would share. That or I’m just being lazy and not writing an article this month. Regardless, it’s better than anything I could’ve come up with.
I was rambling on last night about how I have this friend that I don’t enjoy hanging out with at all. Somewhere in there I had a point, but I think I forgot it, or maybe I didn’t even know it. I finally figured it out at about 3:30 AM last night. So now I can ask my question (before I forget again).
I get home, hop in the shower, about to go to bed, and I realize I should get up and do a little “quiet time”. I wasn't really in the mood to read, so I flipped on Monday Night Football – which was the most boring piece of TV I’ve seen in years. I turned it off and started reading the Bible… or maybe not… I started up a game of Madden on the Xbox. I finally started feeling tired enough to go lay down, except I still haven't done my quiet time, which is the whole reason I got out of bed. Oh well, off to bed. Then I wake up at 3:30 and start thinking and it finally hit me.
Although I find it unbearable to spend time with Jim (not his real name), I still manage to make time because it’s the right thing to do. Putting up with him is the best he gets. My question is ugly and hopefully you’ll get it. I sometimes feel like I am blowing him off and that may hurt him more than it helps him. He has to sense the half-assed effort on my part.
To bring this back to our discussion – compare that to "knowing" your spouse, in the biblical sense, of course. If we only did it when we were both in a perfectly romantic mood (the phone wasn't ringing..., the kids aren't knocking at the door..., the cats aren't watching...) – well, we'd never do it. Sometimes you just have to do it because if you wait for the right moment it’s just not going to happen.
So what about our relationship with God? If we wait until we want to it may never happen. I've had many times where I’ve loved and looked forward to worshipping God, praying to him, reading his Word, but I've also had times where I’ve come to God like “God, I'm not feeling this at all." Then I spend some time reading the Bible half-heartedly and pray again, “God, I just read 10 pages, and I'm still not excited to know that I shouldn't have sex with my relatives. Please help me love you and enjoy this…” Then, I give up. “Can I just go outside now?"
That’s a bad attitude, but that also leads to my question. My assumption is it’s better to "just do it" even when I'm not feeling it. Is that right? In my marriage when things aren’t perfect, it’s never an option to “take a break”. We talk through stuff even if it leads to the inevitable "well, you just don't care" comment. Eventually you spend time dealing with it because it’s a relationship. I'm trying to picture the same deal with God. However, God is much easier to blow off.
This affects everything. “God loves a cheerful giver." My heartfelt response of, "well, I don't feel all that cheerful about forking it over this month, so I guess I’ll just force myself to not buy something nice instead" doesn't seem to fly.
Here’s my question: practically speaking, how should we approach God when the relationship seems more of a burden (there has to be a better word) than a joy?
Any and all opinions welcome…
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If a reader cannot relate
Mon, 01/23/2006 - 11:13 — Mike Sense (not verified)If a reader cannot relate with this at some level, they need to check their pulse on the reality of the Christian life.
Thanks for posting the email...seems to be something we all deal with. I can say that you're a better man than I. I would tend to not to do something unless I wanted to, much less spend time with someone I didn't want to. Personally this presents a problem in many areas of life...cycling, study, running, writing, loving my family well. Though still single, I am positive that this will be a problem if/when I ever wed.
As I've occasionally been in the Psalms, 119 has blessed me along with Deuteronomy 30:6. The both seem to approach God from a "blind man" perspective. I recently heard Alistair Begg speak about this in relation to Luke 18. I love this section of Luke because it places our desperate need in a correct context. As with the blind man, we have no ability to regenerate ourselves, therefore us kneeling, petitioning for that of which can only be bestowed by the supernatural has to be the story of our lives! Strange paradox huh? Very contrary to the worldly ideal quenching of needs.
Psalm 119:33-40; "Teach me, Give me, Lead me, Incline my heart, Turn my eyes, give me, confirm to your servants, Turn away the"...a pattern? I like when John Piper speaks of Deuteronomy 30:6, "God, circumcise my heart! Make me love you!"
I forget this often, but I do desire to ask God to circumcise my heart...to MAKE me love him. In other words, to continually do the supernatural in my heart, similar to when He shone light into my heart! Quite a daily happening huh? Taking part in the supernatural?!? It's amazing!!!
"I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker in it." 1 Corinthians 9:23
"First, we're in no doubt about our need and secondly, we are not too proud to cry." Begg. For me this applies to when I don't want to partake in the gospel, because had it not been for the supernatural hoisting (Philip Ryken) of me on God's shoulders, I'm sure I would of come to Him. I totally find this applicable to when "I don't want to"...when watching that second, third or sadly fourth Sportcenter is more appealing than intimately meeting with the Creator of the universe. That tells me my affections are very, very much in disorder. But with my petitioning and trusting, He can do a great work within.
I lifted this from John
Mon, 01/23/2006 - 15:02 — Judy (not verified)I lifted this from John Piper's site: desiringgod.org
I've re-read it many, many times:
1. Realize that authentic joy in God is a gift.
2. Realize that joy must be fought for relentlessly.
3. Resolve to attack all known sin in your life.
4. Learn the secret of gutsy guilt - how to fight like a justified sinner.
5. Realize that the battle is primarily a fight to see God for who he is.
6. Meditate on the Word of God day and night.
7. Pray earnestly and continually for open heart-eyes and an inclination for God.
8. Learn to preach to yourself rather than listen to yourself.
9. Spend time with God-saturated people who help you see God and fight the fight.
10. Be patient in the night of God's seeming absence.
11. Get the rest and exercise proper diet that your body was designed by God to have.
12. Make a proper use of God's revelation in nature.
13. Read great books about God and biographies of great saints.
14. Do the hard and loving thing for the sake of others (witness and mercy).
15. Get a global vision for the cause of Christ and pour yourself out for the unreached.
I don't know anyone who
Mon, 01/23/2006 - 16:02 — Joel Bolton (not verified)I don't know anyone who doesn't struggle with their "relationship with God". (In some ways, if someone isn't struggling, they're probably "relating" to a different God than the One described as a raging pillar of fire.)
That being said, I still can't find the reference in Scripture that has Jesus asking me to be in a relationship with Him. He wants to come to my place and eat with me. He wants me to drop what I'm doing and follow Him. He wants me to sit at the feet of the cross watch Him bleed until I am covered head to toe. He wants me to tell other people what He did for me. He wants me to remember his blood when all I can see is my sin. He wants me to know that I am an heir and a prince of His kingdom. He wants me to work as hard as a servant and expect nothing for it. He wants me to sleep well at night knowing that my earnings are zero but my wealth is immeasurable. He wants me to rest in the knowledge that I am invincible and will never die. He paid for me, and there are no refunds.
So, I guess, when it's all said and done, we have a relationship, but our relationship is not about "the relationship". I had a friend in college whose romantic relationships always broke apart because the entire relationship was built on discussing the relationship. The relationship is a result of a connection with someone else, not the foundation upon which something can be built. There has to be something there before there can be "a relationship".
Jesus knows that I am a man, so he doesn't say "Let's talk all the time about how much we love each other. Look deep into my eyes." He basically says, "You know I love you because I died for you. Now, follow me." We'll talk along the road about the mission, and about where we've been and about where we're going. Maybe He'll let me in on some stuff He's working on, and maybe not. He is the king who is my friend, and I am the worm who He finds fascinating. He pursues, I follow. He remembers, I forget, he reminds. He never leaves me even when I leave Him. He keeps coming over and wanting to eat, and for some reason He keeps wanting me to follow Him.
Our relationship is what it is, and He is the one who makes it work. There are no topics that are off limits, and I know he'll never get so mad at me that He wants to see other people. It's like we're married. And I'm the bride. Weird.
Preach it Joel Bolton! Amen.
Fri, 01/27/2006 - 15:46 — Sarah Hazel (not verified)Preach it Joel Bolton! Amen.