Last night my neighbor Patsy called. She lives below me and heard me come home and phoned right away. Would I like to come down and see her Christmas tree? I remembered that she planned to spend all day Saturday working on it, since mentioned it when I bumped into her in the foyer. That’s mostly when we chat, when we bump into each other in the foyer, which isn’t that often.

In our condo complex, there are a lot of women. Many of them have lived here for decades, outlasting their husbands, and now gather with one another for cards and consoling and Christmas decorating. We also have a number of single women who have careers and no husbands. I call our complex the home of the “hads” and “have nots.” (One of my single friends doesn’t think that’s funny. But I do. I crack myself up with these silly thoughts.)

At 70+, Patsy is a “had” and a still “hoping.” She’s buried two husbands, one of whom she loved. And now she meets men on the Internet. I’m not kidding. She and her sister, Judith, go online to post their Glamour Shots, and Patsy in particular gets lots of invitations. Patsy then dolls herself up in a stunning cream suit, full make-up and gold heels, and drives her Lincoln Town Car to the local Olive Garden to meet her matches.

Patsy has met all types of men through the Internet. One particular one, Don, broke down crying over his pasta as he told Patsy how lonely he is for his dead wife. Patsy was so dear to him, even walking him outside to his car. And now she has invited him to the Elk Lodge Christmas dance.

I learned all this about Don and the Elks when I went down to see Patsy’s tree last night. It was breathtaking. Really. She turned down all the lights and lit two vanilla candles. We sat in the living room, by the light of the tree, and just stared at it in the quiet. Like a cat silently rubbing up to your leg, I felt a brush of loneliness. There in front of Patsy’s breathtaking tree, an unexpected ache settled in. I looked over at Patsy; she was gazing at her tree with such delight. I delighted in her delight. And the ache went away a little bit.

Tonight is the Elk Lodge Christmas Party, and I am going to go downstairs to take a picture of Patsy and Don in front of the tree. Patsy showed me her fabulous blue velvet gown and her sparkly rhinestones and sassy shoes. She can’t wait to dress up, taking pleasure in the preparation. “Getting ready,” she says, “is half the fun!” And I believe her. Anticipation is a beautiful thing.

Come, thou long-expected Jesus, Born to set thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us; let us find our rest in thee.
Israel’s Strength and Consolation, Hope of all the earth thou art;
Dear Desire of ev’ry nation, Joy of ev’ry longing heart.

Charles Wesley 

© 2005, Judy Nelson.