Being a painter is a lot like being a human being. Time after time, I approach a blank canvas with a preformed notion of how the painting is going to play out. From the beginning of the piece, I have this imagined end in mind, a completed painting that is daring and masterful- so I go about trying to control the process, directing the work towards this imagined end, totally unprepared for all the problem-solving inherent to the act of painting and intolerant of all those genius accidents/mistakes that ultimately make a painting successful. The painting is underway and I default into a total control freak. In reality, I have no better chance of steering the painting where I want it to go than I have of throwing a saddle on a grizzly bear and telling it to canter. It reminds me of Steve Buscemi’s character in Armageddon, riding the nuclear warhead- some things (most things) are simply too big for us to handle on our own.Read more

 Do you struggle with envy? Nobody wants to admit this--especially Christians. And yet if you are anything like me, you know what it is like to see another person and covet his looks, his salary, his friends (real, not Facebook), or his talents. Paul may have been speaking of material possessions when he instructed Timothy, "godliness with contentment is great gain," but the application is much more broad. If we are not content with the gifts God has given us then we are, fundamentally, not content with the God who gave us those gifts.

The psalmist's honesty in Psalm 73 is overwhelming. He admits his struggle with envy: "For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked" (v. 3).Read more

 
 
This week, John Piper did the almost unthinkable. He confessed a growing sense of pride in his soul, and with his elders’ blessing, decided to take an extended leave of absence from his public ministry, as explained in a letter to his congregation. I’m deeply impressed that he decided to take a huge step back out of the spotlight before any egregious transgressions happened. It seems that too many of us don’t make such drastic steps until we hit rock bottom and have no other choice but to address our sins and addictions. The problem seems to be exacerbated with leaders and celebrities of all sorts – pastors, politicians, athletes, business executives, recording artists, and so forth.  Whether their fame and power make them feel exempt, invincible, or irreplaceable, an admission of such shortcomings often seems utterly out of the question.Read more

“How do I feel this good sober?” is a persistent question in Pink’s pop hit, “Sober.” I’m drawn to the brutal honesty in this song that portrays a woman struggling with addiction. She goes from feeling “safe up high, nothing can touch me” to lamenting her continued dependence on her substance of choice to feel good.  Over the past few months, I’ve listened to this song over and over, drawn to the truth and cutting beauty of its words. It reminds me of the frightening power of my own sin and addictions.  We all have them. For some it is drugs or alcohol. For others sex or pornography. But for others perhaps it’s building the perfect career. Or having the perfect family and home.  However our idols manifest themselves, they promise us everything yet in the end leave us with nothing.Read more

D-day is just around the corner. Forty some-odd days to go until life changes forever. A month and some change until my husband and I will get to welcome the little life whose DNA twists and twirls with parts of him and parts of me. I’m more excited than I am afraid. Perhaps I should be more afraid.

Someone once said that to have a child is to have your heart go walking around outside your body forever. I don’t know what that’s going to feel like quite yet. But I know I’m about to be tempted with all the worrying that I’ve scolded my mom for since I turned sixteen or so. And I know that even someone with a PhD in babysitting, probably isn’t going to be enough for me to completely take my mind off the well-being of that little one at home the first time we’ve gone out for a night again after the birth.Read more

I went to the Houston Symphony's performance of Handel'sMessiah last month. I had never heard the oratorio all the way through--most of us only hear 2 of the 53 mini-songs that make up Messiah. I took a peek at the lyrics page in the concert program and to my surprise found two full pages of text made up entirely of Scripture. We might give credit to G.F. Handel for skillfully weaving the tapestry of singers and instruments, but this declaration in song wholly originates in God's Word. Which made me wonder: who in this chorus sings these words from the heart, with belief? They are perhaps the most powerful words put to song. Many of the singers were about to explode with the energy they were putting into each word. Others carefully uttered the lyrics with more dispassionate looks on their faces. How many confess--not just sing--those words? I wanted to bump into one of the choristers after the performance and say, “So, what's it like to sing that song?”
 
I often mouth Christian verbiage with a less than believing heart. How can I do this? As I step back and look at the story told by my Christian faith, how can I help but bow my head in reverence and humility? Our hearts are to be directly tied to the words we confess (Luke 6:45). How can we make our tune a true song that springs from the heart?Read more

I don’t know if I am one of many, or one of just a few, but this time of year has become for me a time for resolutions.  Usually reserved for first day in January, this is when my mind drifts towards those goals I hope to accomplish.  That’s why I found myself frantically trying to squeeze a work out in between the time we were dismissed from the all school faculty breakfast and the time we were scheduled to begin the first athletic council meeting.  I ran upstairs to the aerobics room, after taking a ridiculously quick and far too cold shower, beads of sweat quickly returning, shining brightly on my brow, towel in hand, courtesy of our trainer, Sean DelFavero.  “I was so excited about this meeting I just burst into a sweat,” I quipped, settling into my seat a few minutes late. Read more

My husband and I recently returned from a week long vacation to Vancouver, BC. The distance and cheap ticket provided us with basically two full travel days- one at each end of the trip, and a lot of airport time.     One can only read so much before inevitably being sucked into "people watching". I think I probably take in about 15 people per minute, though often dwelling longer on those I feel drawn to over analyze due to interesting shoes, books, or family dynamics. It's pretty pathetic but the stories I contrive in my head about these strangers are quite elaborate. Partly I am simply fascinated by the diversity, partly I judge and feel pretty good about myself in comparison, and partly I get sad. But at one point, at the end of our trip, as I was staring down more people as we waited to board our final flight, I looked at my husband and asked, "What would go through Jesus' head in an airport?" How different would it be from what goes through mine? Where would his mind wander to? In short, how are we to "see" people and how does Jesus "see" us?Read more

Julie is the daughter of a picture-perfect Christian couple. Her father is an elder and a successful businessman and her mother is a devoted stay-at- home mom and Sunday school teacher. Julie was surrounded by love, security, and godly nurture throughout her childhood and her time at a well-respected Christian college. In the early days of her first job, she met Mark. His was a childhood much different from hers. His father struggled with alcoholism and eventually left his mother to raise three children alone on a high school education and little support. Mark didn’t go to church much growing up and rebelled quite a bit in high school. However, at his secular college he accepted Christ through a campus ministry and has sought thereafter to live a life pleasing to the Lord. Julie was immediately attracted to Mark’s humor and passion for Christ and he adored her giftedness, faithfulness to God and clear sense of purpose in life. The two began dating seriously but encountered much resistance from Julie’s parents, who were afraid of what his difficult background could mean for his relationship with their daughter. They urged her to reconsider her feelings toward him.

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The clouds have been building in my town this week, threatening to take us from hot and humid to just plain sauna. We had gotten a few outbursts of rain over the preceding days, but not the big one. With so much 'talk' and so little delivery, my son and I headed to a friend’s house this weekend to help her change some outdoor light bulbs. "It will only take 10 minutes", she assured.

I was watching my son replace the first set of floodlights, when I noticed above the corner of the house a pile-up of pine needles in the gutter. They were tucked just behind a tall metal guard, peeking their tips into view. It was right where a cornice joined the main part of the roof, creating a pathway for the water to drain into the gutter pipe. My friend had a little dam going up there, right in the way of the main flow. Read more