For many single people, there is the haunting hope that out there somewhere, is a silver bullet--e.g. marriage--which will bring us "home," enabling us to exhale in a way that single life does not allow.  But in reality, as most married-for-at-least-a-bit people know, there is no such thing as a silver bullet in this life.  The manifestation of the "ache" just changes contours depending on our context.  In this excerpt from the last chapter ("Homeward Bound") of my recently released book, Revelations of a Single Woman: loving the life i didn't expect (reviewed by Judy Nelson, January 9, 2006), I talk about this ache and my belated discovery that learning to live well with the ache is in fact part of how we all--married or single--move towards the rest of real Home. 

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The question remains, however: What will we do when we are aching, when we are homesick? What will we do when we discover that no fantasy [wo/man], no ideal job, no chic lifestyle, no Pottery Barn digs, and no positive self-talk will completely rescue us? One option is to just keep eating chocolate ice cream and watching more Friends reruns or the History Channel in hopes of numbing out the homesickness. Read more

“There’s nothing wrong with you spiritually right now that can’t be cured with 18 inches,” the dynamic youth communicator dramatically said. “The 18 inches that exists between your head and your heart is what is keeping you from being a truly sold out Christian.”

Am I the only one who absolutely hated hearing this on just about every youth retreat I attended as a teenager? And since I’m feeling uppity today, I want to entertain the possibility that my irritation was not entirely ill-founded. This head/heart dichotomy is sub-Christian.

To be fair, if all the speaker wants to say is that it is possible that our knowledge of God is purely theoretical and abstract, then I heartily agree and need to do a bit of self-examination in response. I submit, however, that the formulation of the problem creates more problems than it reveals in the potential repenter. Let me explain.Read more

It is good to have a collection of heroes. One of mine is the British missionary Lesslie Newbigin (1909-1998), who after serving as a missionary in India for many years returned to Britain, only to find that he needed to be a missionary there as well. Newbigin was convinced that the most effective way a secular, pluralistic culture can be reached with the gospel is through the local congregation. "The only hermenuetic of the gospel,” he wrote, “is a congregation of men and women who believe it and live by it." He means that the local church, like the one you are a part of, should be "interpreting" the gospel and its significance for the world.Read more

My 7^th grade son has decided to take up wrestling.  It's not a mother-friendly sport.  First, let me say that any 13 year old boy who has the guts to don a spandex singlet in front of a ramped-up crowd deserves a medal for that alone. And, as if a shiny second skin fashion show isn't enough, there is someone waiting for him on the mat.  The stranger is crouching, staring with a single-minded goal to manhandle thoroughly and pin him in a squirming hold of defeat.  That is, unless my 93 pound warrior does it to him first!

As I watch these clashes of power, almost every time I'm reminded of Ephesians 6:12, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places".  I am reminded that although I'm not always aware of it, the battle is real and the fight is fierce against the one crouching, waiting to take us down.  I am also made aware that Ben's enemy is different than his opponent.  A young person's enemy (you remember Jr. High - or maybe you've just blocked it out) has a varied arsenal and a crafty plan of attack that the person he is facing has no idea about.  So, I find myself praying both that he will overcome The Enemy and that he will successfully face his opponent.

It's the same with all of us.

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Over the Christmas holiday, while visiting my wife’s family, I again got to sample some of my father-in-law’s incredible culinary skill. One of his finest offerings is a time-tested, finely honed recipe for the Creole classic jambalaya. He begins building his jambalaya by browning pounds of kielbasa sausage, then adding some chicken.

While that cooks in the pot, he sautés in virgin olive oil onion, garlic, and bell pepper, to which he then adds a pepper potpourri of white pepper, red pepper, black pepper. The amount of each pepper is calibrated to effect different segments of the diner’s tongue. Then, it sits and simmers on the stove for several hours before he adds water and rice and shrimp just before serving.

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Do not mistreat an aliRead more